


Let Your Heart Be Light

by Stratagem



Series: Thunderblink Modern AU [5]
Category: The Gifted (TV 2017)
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Gen, Old Flames, modern no powers au, oooo so much Christmas, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-02-07 21:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12849855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stratagem/pseuds/Stratagem
Summary: John is home on leave from the Marines and Clarice is home on winter break from grad school. While they used to date in high school, Clarice and John haven't been together in a long time... But it's Christmas time, and it seems like everything and everyone in their small, holiday-obsessed hometown is trying to get them back together. Modern Thunderblink AU!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Gifted, I just really love writing about the characters.
> 
> A/N: IT'S NOW CHRISTMAS! Lol, or well, here, have a super fluffy sugary romance-filled, Christmas Spirit-y, holiday-who-be-what-ee kind of fic. Modern AU, no powers! Also, if they seem a little lighter-hearted than usual, well, they don't have the same stress that they do in the show. Also, I am also probably totally messing up how much leave a Marine can take at a time or what happens after they get back from a tour, but yeaaaah. Stretch the truth.

The train whistle blew as pulled into the tiny station, and John was up and out of his seat before the attendant could tap his shoulder. The Westchester station was basically just a big old-fashioned one-story building with peeling white and red paint and one long concrete platform. Just like he had expected, it was decorated with garland and fabric poinsettia blooms and even though it was midnight, they had left on the Christmas lights that were wrapped around each post.

There were a few people down on the platform, but he couldn't make out Marcos or James. They had said they would pick him up at the station, but the train was late. Maybe they had gone to grab a coffee or something at a convenience store. Or, alternatively, they were wrestling somewhere after getting into an argument.

His best friend and his brother didn't always see eye to eye on everything.

Grabbing his bag down from the tiny storage space, John tossed it over his shoulder and headed down the aisle, beating the slower moving passengers to the car door. As he got off the train, he looked around and fished his cell out of his pocket.

Before he could even start a text, one of the trucks in the parking area behind the platform went haywire. The headlights started flashing, the horn blared, and some awful remixed version of "I Need A Hero" started blasting from the speakers. John laughed and shook his head, waving his arms in hopes that they would cut it out.

That only made them turn up the volume.

"Sorry, sorry about them," John said to the elderly couple that was ogling the truck and covering their ears. Or, well, the man was covering his ears. The woman was waving her hands in the air, doing some kind of shuffling dance.

"It's all right, dear," she said, "I like this song!"

John nodded to them before jogging over to the truck. He dropped his bag, yanked open the door, launched himself over James, and cut the stereo system before shoving Marcos back into his seat. "You're going to wake up the whole—"

Immediately, the two of them latched onto him, yelling incoherently while ruffling his hair and tugging on him. John made a few weak attempts to fend them off before he wriggled away, giving his little brother's head a fond shove as he got back out of the truck.

"Thought we'd give you a proper welcome," Marcos said, smirking. "The song was James' suggestion."

James jumped out of the truck after John, and John caught him in a proper hug, slapping his back. "I guessed that might be the case."

"Don't lie, that's your favorite," James said, pushing away from John as Marcos came around the front of the truck.

"I'm just happy to see you two could get along long enough to come get me," John said. He caught Marcos' hand and brought him in for a quick hug. "And neither of you died." He clapped a hand on James' and Marcos' shoulders. "I'm proud. Really."

"It was difficult, but we managed somehow," Marcos said, rolling his eyes.

"Marcos provoked me, but I stayed strong," James teased, "You owe me."

"Somehow I think that's probably the other way around."

Marcos gave John his best long-suffering look. "He wouldn't leave the radio alone. He stole all the quarters from the middle console. And he started going through my glove compartment like some kind of weasel."

James didn't even try to pull an innocent look. "It's not like you had anything interesting in there." He picked up John's bag and tossed it into the truck bed. "C'mon, I have class in the morning, unlike you two ancients."

"See?" Marcos said.

"I thought you didn't have a first period," John said, climbing into the front seat.

"Ten is still in the morning," James said. He yanked open the backseat door and pulled himself into the cab of the truck. "Let's go, Marcos! Get a move on, you're so slow. It's like a snail and a sloth had a weird freakish baby and you are that baby."

Marcos pointed at John as he got into the driver's seat. "Your brother is a little shit."

"This is something I am well aware of." But he still loved him.

Marcos pulled out of the parking area, and John it wasn't long before wished that he had asked to drive. Marcos had a ton of great qualities and he was skilled at a number of things, but driving… It depended on if he was excited or not. Like that one time back in high school when they had all been going to the Spring Fling dance at the school and Lorna had been singing along to the radio and sang to Marcos that she loved him in the most punk-rock way and he had driven the car off the road. Mrs. Dorothy Kellings had not been happy with how they had taken out her mailbox. He had been way more concerned about Clarice, who had hit her head on the window… She ended up with a minor concussion, and they had spent the whole dance in the hospital.

He yanked himself away from his memories and focused on what James was saying.

"Riles and Aunt Evelyn still don't know you're coming, which has been really hard," James said, "Aunt Evelyn tried putting up a wreath last week and then Riley burst into tears because you put that wreath up a couple years ago or something. We haven't touched the decorations since then. So guess what you're going to be doing the next few days."

"I'm fine with that," John said, shaking his head. He would make sure to take Riley out to get some new decorations, too, and make it up to her. Last year he had been overseas on a tour of duty, but his tour had ended about a month ago. He had told his aunt and little cousin that there was no way he could make it home, that he was swamped, but he was actually going to be in town until New Year's. He had organized it with Marcos and James so he could sneak in and surprise Riley and Aunt Evelyn.

The drive home was lively, and Marcos and James filled him in on some of stuff he had missed while he was gone. Marcos and Lorna's baby room was ready to go for their kiddo, and Marcos officially despised IKEA. James mentioned something about a Christmas play, but quickly changed the subject. There was a parade in a few days and there was a program at Riley's elementary school and a Christmas concert at James' high school. James was still trying to convince Aunt Evelyn to let him get a dog even though it was his senior year. Sage was planning some kind of get-together for their old high school crew.

"Speaking of which, Clarice is going to be in town."

John's hand tightened on the door. "She is? That's cool."

"That's cool," James said, mimicking him.

"Did anyone say how long she was going to be here?" John said, trying to seem nonchalant even though there was no way Marcos and James wouldn't see through his question.

"The whole month," Marcos said, smirking, "She's going to be on winter break, and she actually decided to spend it at home."

Yeah, instead of jetsetting around the world, like usual. Clarice was a well-known travel writer and blogger, and she was finishing up a MFA in Creative Writing on top of that. They had bumped into each other a few times since that graduating years ago, but…yeah. Most of the time they were both super busy with their own lives.

He realized that both Marcos and James were watching him and he glared at both of them. "Stop."

"He carries such an obvious torch," Marcos said, glancing in the mirror at James.

"It's sad. So sad."

Okay, so the only thing the two of them could agree on was that torturing him was fun.

Luckily they were already pulling up to the curb of Aunt Evelyn's house, and John practically flew out of the truck to get away from the conversation. He was reaching into the bed of the truck to get his bag when he noticed a light in one of the second story windows. A couple moments later, the front door opened, and he spotted a small figure clinging to the doorframe. He dodged to the back of the truck and ducked down, hiding from his little cousin.

"James!" hissed Riley, a flashlight in her hand, "Hurry before Mom wakes up. She'd be so mad, you know she said—" The flashlight beam skittered across the frosty ground, over the truck, and into James' face. "You better get inside before she finds out. She said you can't sneak out anymore, or she'll take all your…" She tilted her head to the side as her flashlight beam hit the driver's side of the truck. "Why're you with Marcos?"

"Because…"

"I needed him to go to the store with me," Marcos said, "Lorna wanted, um, donuts. With sour cream."

The flashlight beam dashed away from Marcos and back to James as Riley stepped off the steps, still looking suspicious. "Nuh-uh…"

Okay, he couldn't take it anymore. "Riley Naomi Proudstar, you don't even have socks on," John said as he stood up straight, walking out from behind the truck. "What in the world do you think you're doing—"

Riley made some kind of noise that was between a scream and squeal and then it was like she teleported to his side. She jumped at him, flinging herself into his arms. Her arms tightened around his neck as she clung to him, and he hugged her tight.

All that's when the front door light came on and Aunt Evelyn started yelling and crying and John was home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL THE HOLIDAY SEASON GOODNESS! Clarice's turn to arrive back home and also the Proudstars are in full decorating mode.

It had been a few years since Clarice had spent Christmas at home. Or, well, what she thought of as her home. Home was where her foster family lived, where she had gone to middle school and high school, where she had felt like she belonged.

It was a tiny town, one of those places where people were all nosey about each other. It was a sweet, crazy little place well-known for its dedication to holiday celebrations. It went all out during December, to the point where it had been featured in a few magazines as the most Christmas-y town in the state.

While it had all seemed a bit much back when she was in high school, she had started to miss it after spending these past years away. She hadn't seen her old friends in ages, and she had even missed Lorna and Marcos' wedding last year, which was an admitted fail on her part. She hadn't been able to get away from her job, which had sent her overseas to cover a specific event in Japan. They had both been really chill about it, but Clarice still felt bad for missing out.

She had decided that no matter what, she would make it home that year, especially after her little foster sister Norah had sent her about a dozen emails begging her to come home. Mama D and Karl, her foster parents, had also asked her to come home, and even Remy had said he would visit if she actually made the effort to get back to Westchester.

Clarice was on the escalator to the baggage claim area when she saw a "Welcome Home, Clarice!" sign waving wildly in the air. It was covered in purple letters, shiny stickers, and silver glitter and beneath it, Norah was beaming. Mama D was standing beside her, and she started waving when she saw Clarice.

Grinning, Clarice hurried down the escalator, skirting around a few other people and darting over to her family. Norah rushed to meet her, and the two of them collided, Clarice dropping the handle of her rolling carry-on and sweeping her sister into a hug.

"Stop growing!" Clarice said when they broke apart, and she realized that Norah had grown a few inches since she had last seen her. "You're going to be taller than me."

"You think so?" Norah said, smiling. She hugged Clarice again. "I missed you!"

"I missed you, too, shrimp," she said, hugging her back.. Norah was growing up way too fast, it was hard to believe she was already nine.

"Your hair looks awesome," Norah said, "The purple looks so good!"

"I like your blue streak," Clarice said, smiling as she tugged one of Norah's braids, the one with the streak in it. "Very nice."

"Clarice," Mama D said, grabbing Clarice's arm and pulling her in for a hug. With rich light brown skin, dark hair streaked with bright grey, and dark brown eyes, Mama D looked almost exactly the same, except maybe she had a little more silver in her hair. She smelled like cinnamon and peppermint, and Clarice knew there would be cookies waiting for her back at the house. "I can't believe you're actually here! I thought for sure you would be jetsetting off for Germany or something."

"Nope, definitely staying here for Christmas," Clarice said with a smile.

"We got the lights up already," Norah said, "We even put Cupid up in the yard."

Clarice laughed. "That thing hasn't dry-rotted yet?"

"No, but he still has that hole where Marcos shot him with an arrow," Norah said, "I put some ducktape on him this year."

For a moment, Clarice's memory darted back in time to that year in middle school when Marcos had thought he was going to take up archery so he had gotten a bow and arrows for Christmas. They had been out front in her yard when he had started talking about target practice, and before she knew it, there was an arrow sticking out of Mama D and Karl's large plastic reindeer. She had tackled him but the damage was done. Marcos had offered to pay for it, but Mama D had laughed and nicknamed it Cupid, seeing how that was a fitting name.

"Karl wanted to come, but he couldn't get off work," Mama D said as they all walked over to the luggage carousel. He worked at the sock factory in the next town over, the one where a lot of people from Westchester worked, and getting time off was hard. "He's going to try to come home early."

"He doesn't have to do that," Clarice said, not wanting them to fuss over her or put themselves out on her behalf. She didn't want to be a bother.

"What part of he wants to didn't you understand, sweetheart?" Mama D teased. She reached over and tucked a lock of Clarice's hair behind her ear. "It's good to have you home."

"It's going to be fantastic," Norah said, turning toward Clarice, a gentle smile on her face. "We can watch a ton of movies and bake more cookies and it's supposed to snow this weekend, and then there's the play and the parade and the dance and the bake-off and—"

"Whoa, whoa," Clarice said, holding up her hands as if she could fend off the onslaught of holiday traditions. "Let's start small. Did you all decorate the Christmas tree yet?"

"We haven't gotten it yet," Norah said, shaking her head, "But they're doing the whole cut your own tree thing at Wilson's Farm, so we could do that."

"We'll definitely do that," Clarice said, nodding. She could borrow Karl's truck or something, maybe they could go tomorrow. "And what was that about the play?"

"I'm going to be in the Christmas play this year, if we get to do one," Norah said, biting her lower lip, "We're still looking for actors…"

"And you can ask Clarice about that later," Mama D said gently, "We don't want to overwhelm her."

Oh, she was already pretty overwhelmed. She had sort of forgotten exactly how many traditions and holiday events Westchester had, but she would readjust soon. Hopefully she would get to spend some time with just her family and friends, though.

After retrieving her suitcase, they headed out to the car and took off for home. It was about an hour's drive back to Westchester from the airport, and they split it between catching up and singing along to some Christmas songs on the radio.

"Can I go with you next time?" Norah said. She was looking through the pictures of rural Italy on Clarice's phone. "It's so pretty."

"Maybe this summer you can come with me somewhere," Clarice said, "I think I might be going to Spain."

"Can I go, Mama D?"

"We'll see," Mama D said, "You'll need to work on your Spanish."

"You can help me! I'll learn…"

"Let's get through December first, all right? How long do you get to stay again, Clarice?"

"At least through New Years," Clarice said, "But I might get a few extra days."

"I hope you get an extra week," Norah said.

Mama D turned onto the street that their house was on, and Clarice had to smother a laugh. The houses were all already covered in decorations, some tasteful, some leaning to the overexuberant side. There was an inflatable snowglobe in one yard, a massive lifesize sleigh in another. Christmas in Westchester was no joking matter.

Clarice was looking out the window on the passenger's side when Mama D suddenly slammed on brakes, jerking the seatbelt tight across Clarice's chest. In the backseat, Norah let out a yelp and grabbed for the back of Clarice's seat.

"What, what is it?" Clarice demanded, half-certain they had just run over someone's dog, because what other reason would Mama D have for hitting the brakes like that?

"That is John Proudstar," Mama D said, "I had no idea he was coming home, Evelyn didn't tell me!"

Clarice froze as Norah pressed her nose to the window. She peeked past Mama D, and sure enough, there was John out in the front yard of his aunt's house, putting up lights in one of the trees with his younger brother James. Evelyn's little girl Riley was up in the tree, stringing the lights while John obviously kept an eye on her. Clarice stared. John's hair was longer than she had last seen it, shaggy but not as long as he had worn it in high school. He was wearing a coat and blue jeans, and she would bet her camera that had had on an old band t-shirt.

It had been a few years since she had seen John or really talked to him. It wasn't like that had ended terribly but…it hadn't been great. She had ended it before the distance could. It had always seemed like the right move, but sometimes it felt like there could have been another way. But she wasn't expecting her heart to speed up the way it did when she saw him again, sitting in that tree like they used to back when they were just kids.

"Riley!" Norah called, and Clarice realized that her little sister had rolled down her window.

"Norah, no," Clarice hissed. Oh come on, she needed more time, she couldn't talk to John right now.

"Hi, Norah!" Riley waved from the tree, leaning against one of the branches and grabbing John's shirt to steady herself. "John's home!"

"Because she couldn't see for herself," James said, which got him a tiny twig dropped on his head by Riley.

"Hi, Norah, Ms. D," John said, "Nice to see you."

"You too, John," Mama D said, her own window rolled down. She glanced over at Clarice, who shook her head rapidly. Really, truly, she needed a minute before saying hey to John. Or an hour. Or maybe the rest of the day.

"Are you going to be at play practice tonight?" Riley asked Norah, taking a step out on the branch. John made a face and grabbed her arm.

"Yep," Norah answered, "I'll see you there!"

"John, are you going to play practice?" Mama D asked, mischief in her voice.

"Riley's been pestering us to go, so probably," John said, "Do you want me and James to take Norah, too?"

"That's so nice, could you?" Mama D asked even as Clarice mouthed 'no' at her repeatedly. John…at the house…tonight? "She might have a friend tag along, if that's all right?"

"I think that'll be fine," John said, "We'll come by around five?"

"We'll see you then."

After they drove off, Clarice peeled herself away from her window. "You didn't say John was home!"

"I didn't know," Mama D said, "Truthfully. But it is nice…you should fix your hair before he comes over."

"Mama D!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE CHRISTMAS FIC!!! Okay, get ready for a lot of shorter updates as I try to finish this in like 3 days! :D

"And here, take these over to Denise," Aunt Evelyn said, pressing a tin of cookies into John's hands. He was trying to get out the door with Riley and James but Riley was hunting for her favorite hat and James was actually refusing to wear a jacket. Which was ridiculous, it was gearing up for snow outside.

"Yes, ma'am," John said, holding onto the tin as he shot a glare at James. "We're going to be late and it's going to be your fault. We're not leaving until you put a coat on."

"You're worse than Aunt Evelyn," James said, leaning against the doorway that led into the den. "I'm fine, I've got on long sleeves."

"It's not here," Riley complained, her voice muffled since she was digging around in the coat closet by the front door. "I think it's lost."

"Can't you wear a different hat?" Aunt Evelyn said, "And James, go get a coat, it's freezing. See, John's not worse than me."

James made a disgruntled noise opened the closet wider so he could grab a coat.

"It's my favorite," Riley complained. She stepped around James and out of the closet, a pout on her face. "I don't want to wear a different one."

"Here, wear this one." James grabbed a black toboggan and plunked it down on Riley's head, pulling it down so it covered her dark brown eyes.

She immediately pulled it off and flung it back at him. "It smells like boy! I'm not wearing your hat."

"There's this one." James snagged another toboggan, this one with a massive pink pom-pom on it, and tried to put it on Riley's head. She shoved at his hands and then darted toward John, hiding behind his legs.

"You wear it!" she said, shooting James a frown. "I want my hat…"

John glanced at his phone and ran his hand over Riley's head, giving her braid a tug. "Kiddo, you might have to wear a different hat. I wasn't kidding about being late."

James shrugged on his coat and smirked down at Riley. "Pom-pom nightmare for you."

"You don't have to make it worse," John said, rolling his eyes as Riley stuck her tongue out at James.

Eventually they made it out the door and to the truck after getting Riley to accept a less-fantastic but somehow-okay bright blue, sparkly toboggan. They piled in and headed down the road, partially blinded by all the Christmas lights in their neighborhood.

"Wow, is that a whole merry-go-round with reindeer?" John asked incredulously as they drove past the Camerons' house.

"Yuh-huh," Riley piped up from the backseat, "And if you turn the radio, their house lights up with the songs. It's so cool."

"She's not serious," John said, looking over at James for confirmation.

His little brother smirked. "She's dead serious. Those people are more dedicated to their Christmas display than ever since Sarah went off to college."

"I like it," Riley said, leaning forward. "Can we go drive through the town to look at the lights after practice, John?"

"No, Riles, we're not feeding your addiction," James said. He put a hand on her forehead and pushed her backwards into her seat but she struggled against him.

"I didn't ask you, I asked John!"

"As long as it doesn't go too late and Ms. D doesn't mind if Norah goes," John said.

"And Norah's friend," Riley said, sitting back now that she had gotten some sort of agreement. She leaned against the window and drew little pictures on the foggy glass.

"Right," John said, wondering who exactly that friend was. Probably one of the other kids from the neighborhood. While they were at the Fergusons, he was going to have to ask when Clarice was getting home. That way he would have some time to mentally prepare before seeing her again.

The drive to the Fergusons was only a couple minutes since they lived at the end of the lane. John grinned as he recognized the fake reindeer standing in Ms. D's bushes as the same one that Marcos had shot so long ago. It had been before John had moved to town, but he had heard the story dozens of times. Cupid was wearing a Santa hat, and he had a big silver heart made of duct tape over the hole from Marcos' arrow.

Riley exploded from the truck when James opened her door, racing around the front and launching herself up the steps. John and James followed at a more sedate pace. John glanced at James, wondering why he wasn't arguing more about going to this play practice thing. Normally he would have refused to go, especially because Riley kept dropping hints about the play needing more people, which John assumed meant that the director might try to absorb them into the production. But James hadn't complained yet, so John was guessing that he had ulterior motives.

Riley was ringing the doorbell for the fourth time when John reached the door. He picked her up and shook his head at her. "Stop abusing the doorbell."

"I don't think they heard me," she said, straining toward the door.

"I think the whole neighborhood heard you," James said.

Finally, the door opened, jingle bells ringing as Norah appeared. She smiled and turned around, opening the door wider. "Riley's here!"

"Oh good," Ms. D said, walking out from the hallway that led to the kitchen. She glanced over at the stairs and then came to the doorway, waving her hands. "Come in, get out of the cold for a moment."

"Can't stay long, we have to go," Norah said.

John set Riley down, and she automatically raced over to Norah, grabbing her friend's hand. Norah was a few years older than Riley, but living on the same street and going to the same school had turned them into friends a long time ago. "I can't wait for practice!"

"Me neither," Norah said, but John noticed how she kept looking at the stairs, just like Ms. D.

John held out the cookie tin to Ms. D. "Aunt Evelyn sent those over for you."

"That was nice of her," Ms. D said, "Tell her thank you and that we'll be sending some back in a couple days."

John nodded, knowing that Ms. D would probably send a whole box of Christmas snacks back as a 'thank you.' She was really into baking this time of year. "I guess we should get going."

"We can't yet," Norah said, shaking her head, "We have to wait."

"They're going to start practice without you guys," James said, frowning.

"They can't," Norah said, putting her hands on her hips, "Or they won't."

John was about to ask why when he heard someone coming down the stairs. Must be Norah's…friend… His eyes widened at the sight of Clarice, her hand on the banister as she hurried down the stairs. She skipped the last one and came to stand between James and Ms. D, as if nothing about this whole situation was shocking. "Hey," she said breathlessly, "Sorry, I couldn't find my socks." She stuck out a leg and pulled her jeans leg up, showing off a tall evil Frosty sock. "The other one is an exploding reindeer."

"Clarice," John said, staring at her, "You…" He swiped a hand back through his hair, completely caught off guard. "Hey."

There was a tiny smothered giggle from Norah and Riley's direction, and he shook his head.

"I didn't know you were home yet," he said, gathering his composure even as he continued to simply look at her. Her hair was longer and dark purple, loose curls playing around her shoulders. She had on a hooded grey long-sleeve and dark jeans with worn patches, plus a pair of black Converses.

Clarice was _beautiful_.

"Just got in today," she said, looking back at him, dark green eyes as captivating as ever. He didn't fail to notice the blush in her cheeks, though that was surely from racing down the stairs, not because of him or anything. "Did you get even more muscles, Superman?"

"Maybe," he said, falling into a grin even as his emotions roiled. He was happy to see her even if it brought up a lot of memories he didn't want to face, like sitting on a bench in a park far away as she ended things.

James made a face. "Okay, let's go before you guys find some mistletoe for an excuse to start making out."

Okay, James was going to have to die later. "Wait, what about Norah's friend?" John said, tearing his eyes away from Clarice so he could fully glower at his little brother. Way to make things extra awkward.

Ms. D had a mischievous smile on her face, and Norah walked over to Clarice, taking her hand. "Clarice is my friend, she's coming with us."

Riley smiled at Clarice. "You can sit in the front seat, I'll make James sit with us." She pointed at James. "You're in the middle!" With a laugh, she grabbed Norah's hand and took off, darting out the door.

"Hey, no! No way," James said, going after them. He gave Ms. D a little salute at the door. "Later, Ms. D."

"Be good, James," she said, and then clapped her hands together as she looked at Clarice and John. "You two better go catch them before they destroy the truck."

"Right," John said, looking at Clarice again. "You don't mind riding shotgun?"

"As long as I get to pick the radio station, I don't mind."

This was going to be interesting…


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!

What was she supposed to do with her hands? Clarice wasn't nervous or anything, but she just couldn't figure out where she should put her hands. If she put one on the middle console, it would be too close to the elbow that John was resting there. And if she put them in her lap, that was awkward. And she just kept thinking about how the last time she rode with John in a truck like this, they were holding hands like it was the most natural thing to do. She settled for tapping her fingers against the dashboard, listening to the Christmas music on the radio station she had picked out.

"So, who exactly is in charge of this theater thing?" Clarice asked, looking back at Norah and Riley in the mirror. James had managed to get a window by actually pick up Riley and plunking her down in the middle seat. They had spent the first five minutes of the ride fussing and then there had been a couple songs that she and the girls had sung along to, which meant Clarice had managed to avoid awkward conversation for that long.

But really, talking to John hadn't felt as weird as she thought it would. Actually, back at the house, it had almost felt like nothing had changed. But everything had, and she had to keep that in mind.

"Mr. Kurt," Riley said. She was leaning against James and playing a clapping game with Norah. "He's going to be the Ghost of Christmas Present."

"Kurt Wagner?" John asked.

"Yeah, him," Riley said, "He really likes acting a whole lot."

"That sounds like him," Clarice said with a grin as she glanced over at John. He was smiling too, probably remembering how goofy and playfully dramatic Kurt had been back in school. Kurt had been the leading guy in practically every play and musical the little high school had put on. Their senior year was the one year that Clarice had coaxed John into being in the musical, though he had only joined in as a background pirate in some pirate-based musical their director had found for cheap. Still, there was video out there somewhere of John and Marcos in pirate outfits, singing along and waving swords.

"Norah told me that you're playing Tiny Tim, Riley," Clarice said, turning around in her seat, "Are you excited? That's a lot of lines."

"Yep, I've got a bunch of them memorized," Riley said, "James has been helping me."

James shrugged and gave her ear a tiny pinch. "Because you pester me about it all the time."

Riley just grinned at him. "You don't care! And you're doing it because Al—" James' hand came down over Riley's mouth and he pulled her to him, squishing her.

"That's enough out of you."

"Don't crush her," John said, "But now I'm putting two and two together."

"Ditto," Clarice said with a smirk. She glanced over at Norah. "Is Alison Blaire in the play?"

"Yep," Norah said innocently, "She's the Ghost of Christmas Past."

John and Clarice shared a look, and Clarice laughed. "Wait, when did you officially start liking Ali as more than a friend, James? I mean, I always assumed you loved her but—"

"No one said that," James said, still wrestling with Riley, though now it was pointless. "I'm just hanging out with her and Romeo while they're at practice."

"Oh, is that it?" Clarice said, "Just hanging out. And pining."

"I'm not pining! She's my best friend!"

"I guess we'll call it staring from afar and sometimes sighing," Clarice said, merciless in her teasing, "Would that work?"

"John, I think Clarice wants to walk from here," James said, nudging the back of Clarice's seat.

"It's too cold, I think she should stay in the car," John said, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth, "You could just admit your crush, though. She'll might leave you alone after that."

"Might is a strong word," Clarice said, giving James an evil grin. She had always suspected that James was infatuated with his best friend Ali, but it had never been this clear before. Apparently senior year of high school had put some things into perspective for him. "Is she dating someone else? That Romeo guy?"

"No, no way," James said, "He's dating Bobby Drake, so no."

"Is anyone else from their group in the play?" Clarice asked Norah.

"Um, Jubilee and some kid named Ethan," Norah said, "There's a few kids, and then some older people, and a lot of retirees."

"Clarice, drop it, I don't like Ali like that," James said, clearly suffering.

"We're here," John said, pulling into a parking spot.

Clarice turned around in her seat and opened her door. "You're lucky, James."

The community center that also worked as the town's only theater was in the middle of Westchester, and it was covered in white Christmas lights. Old-fashioned black cast iron street lamps lit the path to the front door, and Norah and Riley linked arms as they headed up the brick path. Riley grabbed James' arm and tugged him along with the two of them as they skipped along to the front door, leaving John and Clarice to walk behind them.

She wanted to joke more about James and how she couldn't believe he wasn't already dating Ali, but suddenly it didn't seem right.

"How long are you going to be in town?" she asked John, quieter now that it was just the two of them.

"The rest of the month and a few days into the New Year," he said. He matched her pace as they headed up the path, cutting down his longer stride so that they were in step. "What about you?"

"About the same amount of time." Her breath swirled into the dark winter sky. "It feels like snow."

John took a deep breath and then nodded, letting it go slowly. "Yeah. Are you going to make snow angels?"

That had always been one of her favorite things to do. There were so many memories of flopping back into the snow, laughing and making an angel, then letting John help her up. His arms going around her as he lifted her from the snow, his hands on her hips, pulling her close. Her eyes lingered on his chest, his broad shoulders, anything that kept her from meeting his eyes for that moment. "Probably. Maybe Norah will make them with me."

"Riley's probably going to want to make some kind of snowman."

"Do you remember that snowman massacre we made in Marcos' yard?" Clarice said, laughing at the memory.

John chuckled. "I thought his dad was going to kill us. I still can't believe you brought all that red food coloring."

"So much fake blood."

"The spray bottle was a great idea, though."

Clarice nodded and she was about to say something about how it was his idea to block the car in with a snowman when her boot hit an icy patch on the pathway. Her foot slid, nearly sending her tumbling, but John reached out and grabbed her elbow. He stepped forward and ended up in front of her, holding her up. And so close.

"Are you all right?" he asked, not letting go of her.

"Y-yeah," she said, steadying herself and finding her balance. He still didn't let go, and she didn't mind…

"Are you guys coming or what?" James yelled from the doorway.

That broke whatever was going on between the two of them, and they started up the path, John following right behind Clarice. He was probably ready to catch her again if she fell. That was so him.


	5. Chapter 5

"No. Definitely not."

Clarice was very much inclined to just say ditto to John's very firm refusal. They were standing at the edge of the stage, squaring off with an extremely excited Kurt Wagner, who seemed utterly convinced that they were there to join the production instead of being there to babysit their younger siblings. Currently, Norah and Riley were up on stage, running around with a few other kids and playing tag.

"Ah, but John, you have experience," Kurt said, a big, encouraging smile on his face, "Now you can show off your acting prowess."

"I was in _one_ musical, and that's because…" He glanced at Clarice and she put a hand on her hip and dared him with her eyes to say it was her fault. Yes, okay, it sort of was, but really, he had agreed to it. John quickly looked back at Kurt. "I'm retired."

"Retirement is temporary," Kurt said, "This play _needs_ you." He looked at Clarice, his dark blue eyes big and puppy-ish. "Clarice, tell him."

"Oh no, Kurt, I love you, but you can't just strong arm us into being in your play," Clarice said, "Besides, shouldn't you have everyone cast already?"

"They're small parts," Kurt said, a touch of pleading in his voice now. He held up a pair of scripts and grinned at them, laying on that warm charisma he was so good at. "It's Mr. and Mrs. Cratchit."

"That's not small," Clarice said, shaking her head, "How in the world haven't you cast those parts yet?"

"It's mostly retirees and kids and not that many of either," Kurt said, waving an arm at the stage. Besides the little kiddos racing around, there were some older people and a smattering of teens. "Speaking of kids, James, get over here!"

James glanced up from where he was sitting on the stage stairs with a few other teens. His eyebrows lifted and he tried to go back to talking to his friends, but Kurt narrowed his eyes.

"Either get over here, or get out of my theater!"

With a surly look, James got up and walked over to them, looking put out. "Ali and Romeo—"

"Do you want to stay and hang out?" Kurt asked, tilting his head to the side, a mischievous smirk dawning on his face, "I'm assuming you do…"

James cut his eyes at John, who shrugged. Clarice crossed her arms and decided that she was going to be clear about not being in this play. Especially when it meant she had to act as John's wife. That would be so incredibly awkward, wouldn't it? Right...? She didn't want it to be awkward.

"Yeah, I guess," James said, replicating John's shrug.

"Then you get to be the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come," Kurt said, "You're welcome."

"Wait, no," James said, shaking his head rapidly, "I don't want—"

"You can't just hang out, and I'm sure Alison would like it if you took the part," Kurt said, "The role doesn't even have lines, and we'll cover you in a cloak so we don't have to worry about your complete lack of acting skills."

Clarice bit her lips to hide her quick smile as James gaped at Kurt.

Beside her, John got a certain look on his face, one that she knew meant he had figured something out. He opened his mouth then closed it before looking at the stage.

"What?" Clarice asked.

"I think I get it now…Riley," he called, and a little dark-haired head popped out from behind a curtain. He motioned for her to come over and she darted toward him, Norah at her heels. John stepped over to the stage as Riley sat down on the edge, and Clarice picked up on the guilty look in Riley's brown eyes.

"Did you want us to come to practice because the play needs more people?" John asked bluntly, a reluctantly amused look on his face.

"Maaaybe." She squirmed under his accusation and then nodded. "Not totally. I wanted you to come see me act. But you got a lot of time now, and you did plays in school."

"One," John said, eyes widening, "One musical!"

"That's more than me," James said, still frowning at Kurt.

"No lines, no real acting," Kurt said, "You can't screw it up."

Clarice leaned against the stage, resting her elbows on the worn, polished wood. Norah plopped down beside her and gently kicked her feet back and forth.

"You like plays," Norah said, "We could spend a lot of time together and practice stuff. I'm one of the Cratchit kids, too."

Clarice looked at her little sister. That wasn't even fair… "I'm feeling very manipulated right now."

"You're not kidding," John said.

Riley popped to her feet and then launched herself off the stage, fully confident that John would catch her, which he did without a moment's hesitation. She looped her arms around his neck and gave him a warm smile. "You don't have to, but please, maybe?"

"Oh, he's a goner," Clarice said, shaking her head and getting a giggle out of Norah. John always had a hard time saying no to Riley, and when she was all sweet and hopeful like that, it was impossible for him to refuse.

"Wait, are you going to do it?" Norah asked, excitement brightening her voice.

"I'm thinking about it," Clarice said, her resolve weakening under that excitement. She met John's eyes, and he looked caught somewhere between helplessness and uncertainty. He lifted his eyebrows, asking her a silent question. _Are you okay with this?_

Was she? Was _he_? If they took these roles, it would mean spending a lot of time together. And acting like they were married. Yes, it was just a play but… Would that be okay?

Norah grabbed onto Clarice's arm. "Clarice, Clarice, it'll be fun! So much fun. We get to wear cool dresses and there's going to be fake snow and everything."

"Hold on," James said, a dawning realization on his face. He whipped around to look back at the other teens to find them all looking at him. They immediately turned back toward each other and pretended that they had been in deep conversation. "Did you guys set me up?!"

"He'll do it, Mr. Kurt," the dark-haired boy in the group said, "He's got reasons…"

"You won't even have lines," Jubilee said. Clarice remembered her, she had been friends with Jubilee's older sister. "Quit freaking out, Proudstar."

"Come on, James," the blonde, Alison Blaire, said, a dazzling smile on her face, "You're going to be at practice anyways."

James made a grumbling sound, as if he was still coming to a decision when everyone already knew the answer. It had been decided the moment Ali had chimed in. "All right, but no lines. At all."

"Trust me, I wouldn't give you any," Kurt said, but he handed James a script. "Memorize when you walk on the stage. And practice being menacing."

"That's menacing, and not being a menace," John said dryly, "There's a difference."

James rolled his eyes and headed back to the group of teens, who were exaggeratedly golf-clapping for him. He plopped down beside Ali and bumped his shoulder against hers, fussing and complaining. Cute.

"So," Kurt said, looping an arm around Clarice's shoulders, "You guys are in, right?"

John and Clarice looked at each other, and she was a little startled to realize how easy it was to still carry on one of these silent conversations. John was still hesitant, and he wouldn't commit until she did since it could put her in an awkward situation. He didn't want her to feel embarrassed. And somehow she could read all of that in his warm brown eyes, the tilt of his jaw, the line of his lips. Which she wasn't focusing on.

"I'm in," she said, getting a happy squeaky noise out of Norah. "But I'm not practicing constantly, Kurt. I have things I have to do—"

"No problem," Kurt said, "We practice three times a week, two hours at a time. It's a Westchester production, it's not Broadway. But we'll practice every day the week before the play."

John set Riley back on the stage and made a face at her. "You really want me to do this?"

"I think you'll like it," she said, "Please…"

John turned back toward Kurt, but his eyes were on Clarice. "Fine. I'll do it."


	6. Chapter 6

"Stay still for five seconds, Riles."

Clarice glanced over at John, who was trying to wrangle a wriggly Riley into her winter gear. The kid was so tired she was actually in an energetic mood, so she was making things difficult by moving around and talking to anyone who walked by and trying to practice her Tiny Tim hobble. Clarice had to bite down on a smile as John tried to put Riley's hat on her and missed as she swooped under his arm and toward James, who was standing nearby.

"She's being so silly," Norah said. Unlike Riley, she was sitting on the edge of the stage, coat on and ready to go.

"No kidding," Clarice said, raising an eyebrow as James swiped up Riley and literally tossed her to John. Clarice sucked in a breath but quickly remembered this was just how they were and Riley liked being thrown around like that. She shouldn't be worried, it wasn't as if either of them would ever drop Riley. Still, her eyes followed the seven-year-old as John tossed her into the air twice, making her shriek with giggles.

He caught her and set her on the ground, rapidly plunking her hat down on her head and then holding her in place with his hands on her shoulders. "Calm down, kiddo."

"I can't help it, I gotta run," Riley said, trying to pull away but John had a firm hold on her. She sighed and slumped back against his legs, looking over at Clarice. "Claaarice, make him let go."

Clarice shook her head. "No can do." Not anymore, at least. She had a feeling that Riley sometimes forgot that Clarice and John weren't actually dating anymore. They weren't enemies or anything, they just weren't…things weren't the same. But they had dated some in high school and a year after that, and Riley probably just thought of them that way.

"Are we still going to drive by the lights?" Riley asked, craning her head back to look up at John. "You said maybe we could."

"I said if it wasn't too late, and it's already nine."

"It's like four hours past your bed time," James said, his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. Ali had already left with one of her other friends, so now he had time to spend with the rest of them. Fancy that.

Riley made a face. "Is not, I don't go to bed that early."

"Aunt Evelyn changed your bedtime," James said, "You go to bed at sunset now."

"Do not!"

"She told me, it's the truth. When the sun goes down, you go to bed, so it's way past your bedtime."

Riley made a wild attempt to push James, but she couldn't get away from John. "She did not tell you that!"

"Did so."

"Not!"

"So."

John sighed. "James…"

"Oh my gosh, you're both acting like preschoolers," Clarice said, rolling her eyes at James, who looked very pleased at aggravating Riley. "I think we could go past the lights on the way home, if that's okay with the driver?" She looked over at John and raised an eyebrow.

He nodded. "I think we could do that if someone would chill out just a little bit." He gently squeezed Riley's shoulders and she made a whiny noise. "Agreed?"

"Yeaaaah," Riley said, raising her shoulders and nodding.

John squeezed her shoulders again and then let her go so she could dash over to Norah. The two of them headed off down the theater aisle toward the back doors, James following after them so they wouldn't get into too much trouble. Clarice stuck her hands in her pockets and looked over at Kurt.

"Hey, we're heading out," she said, interrupting his conversation with one of the other actors, "You've got our numbers, right?"

"I think so, unless you changed them," Kurt said with a grin. "Which wouldn't do without telling me, of course?"

"Of course not," Clarice said, rolling her eyes. The fact that she had somehow kept the same phone number all these years was a bit of a miracle.

"You guys have a good night," Kurt said, giving a little wave, "Don't get into too much trouble."

"Because there's so much trouble to get into in Westchester," Clarice said, "We'll just go climb the water tower or something."

A half-smile darted across John's face as they walked up the aisle side by side, their elbows carefully not brushing. "You still remember that?"

Clarice smirked. "I moved away, I didn't have my memory wiped," she said, hoping it came across more as teasing than snarky. But judging by the quick flash of uncertainty that crossed John's face, it hadn't entirely worked. She quickly backtracked. "It's still one of my favorite memories."

John's eyebrow shot up. "We got arrested."

"But it was worth it."

That got a reluctant laugh out of him. "I had community service for two months!"

"You worked at the wildlife center, it wasn't like you hated it," she said, "Remember that hawk that tried to adopt you?"

"Terrence? Yeah, I think he still lives in the woods around here."

Clarice started pulling on her gloves, getting ready for the explosion of winter outside. There were at least a many old memories they had together, gathered from years spent as friends and then something more. She still remembered way back when she first met him, that shaggy-haired ten-year-old boy who didn't have a bike and always frowned. He had been sitting on his aunt's front porch, having gotten sent outside after breaking a lamp inside. Clarice and Marcos had ridden up on their bikes and Marcos had offered to steal his brother's bike for John and the rest was history.

"Hold on." John reached past her as they stepped up to the door, his fingers resting on the worn wood, keeping it closed. He looked down at her, his brown eyes full of sincerity, his gaze searching hers. "Are you really okay with this?"

"With the lights? Yeah, it's not a problem." She pulled her toboggan on her head and shrugged. "I wanted to see them anyways."

"That's not…no, I meant the play. The parts we have." He shifted, looking uncomfortable, and he sucked a breath in through his teeth. "The whole married thing."

A shiver went down Clarice's spine because once upon a time, this wouldn't have been a big deal. Actually, once upon a time, she would've assumed she would have been married to John Proudstar by this point. But that was her eighteen-year-old self, who hadn't known anything about the world except a tiny town and a little community. And she had been the one to break things off, thinking the distance would be too much, that it was too much when they were both young…

"It's just a play," she said, trying to be nonchalant, "It's not a big deal, right? And we're doing it for the kids."

"Right." John smiled, but she knew it was forced. Had she said something wrong? Had she…was that the wrong thing to say? Sometimes it was so easy to be around him, like no time had passed, and other times the tension was thick and awkward between them.

"Are you okay with it?" she asked.

"Yeah, no, it's fine. Except I'm going to completely ruin it," he said, making a face, "I'm not exactly an actor."

"I think you'll manage." Clarice reached up and grabbed his hood, flipping it up over his head. "Don't want your ears to get cold."

"Thanks," he said, his eyes lingering on hers. After a long moment, he shifted his hand and opened the door for her. She slipped out past him and was instantly grabbed by Riley and Norah. Riley bounced on the balls of her feet while Norah simply tugged Clarice down the path toward the truck.

"We have to go down Carter Street," Norah said, "It's sort of on the way, and they have the best lights this year."

"That's just 'cause our street isn't finished decorating yet," Riley said, "We'll beat 'em."

Clarice shook her head. "I wonder how much money this town shells out in electricity bills this time of year."

"Bazillions of dollars," Riley said in a serious tone, "Like kajillions."

"Wow, that's so much money," Clarice said with a grin.

Behind them, James must have said something that John disagreed with because John grabbed his younger brother and put him in a quick headlock. James was laughing, so it wasn't like it was serious fight. Besides, wrestling was sort of just a thing between them. Clarice had seen Riley try to join in before, and it was cute seeing two powerhouses being super careful yet still trying to make it seem like she was wrestling, too.

James fought back, but John had a good grip on him, and he couldn't get free. They scuffled a little while longer until John dropped James into a bush and caught up with the rest of them.

"So Carter Street," John said as if he hadn't missed a beat, "We could do that."

"And that road with the sleigh? The big one?" Riley grinned, mischief in her brown eyes.

John shook his head. "Just Carter Street." When Riley started to pout, he arched an eyebrow. "You do actually have a bedtime, remember."

She crossed her arms with a huff and marched ahead of the others. "Fine…"

Carter Street wound up being even more over the top than Clarice remembered. She pressed a hand to the window, an incredulous laugh escaping her, as they drove past a yard with an entire Santa Claus vs. Krampus scene out front. "That's just…so extra."

"Right?" James said, rolling his eyes, "Paul is actually proud of it. It's his dad's house, he's the football coach."

"Do the elves have a papier-mâché cannon?" Clarice asked.

"I think it's plastic," John said.

"It's wooden," James said.

Clarice sat back in her seat as they rolled slowly down the street, the girls in the backseat chattering away across James. Some things in Westchester never changed, like the Christmas light displays and knowing that practically everyone in the town knew each other. She looked over at John, who was grinning, the colorful lights casting a glow across his face. Their hands were both on the console but they were carefully not touching. Her favorite stations weren't saved on the radio. She wasn't wearing his jacket and he wasn't wearing her scarf.

Some things stayed the same. Others changed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry, this is a short chapter! Trying to get over a writer's block. ^_^ Next one will be much longer, promise!

By the time they pulled into Ms. D and Karl's driveway, Norah and Riley were both asleep. John glanced at the quiet backseat. Riley curled up against James, his jacket tossed over her as a blanket, while Norah slept against the door. It had been a crazy couple of days for both of them, and they were both exhausted.

They weren't the only ones. Over in the front passenger seat, Clarice was leaned against the window, her forehead pressed against the cool glass, her cheek resting on her arm. She had been struggling to stay awake for the past few minutes, but it looked like she had lost the battle. Her plane had come in that morning, and John doubted she had gotten a nap since Karl, Ms. D, and Norah would have wanted to talk to her. John let her sleep. Hopefully she wouldn't be embarrassed or anything when she woke up. It wasn't like it was the first time she had fallen asleep while John was driving.

"Are we still going to get the tree tomorrow?"

John looked at the mirror again and met James' eyes. "What?"

"The Christmas tree. You told Aunt Evelyn we'd get it tomorrow." Riley shifted against James, and he absently rubbed her shoulder and pulled her closer. For all their bickering and teasing, the two of them were close. They just normally showed their affection through gently tormenting each other.

John nodded. "Right. Yeah, we'll get it tomorrow." Aunt Evelyn would want a fresh tree, so that meant a four hour drive to the nearest Christmas tree farm. It was Saturday, so he could take James and Riley without having to worry about school. They would make a day of it.

James dropped his voice to a whisper. "You should ask Clarice to come, too."

John nearly jerked the wheel, but he stayed cool and instead flicked his eyes over to Clarice, making sure she was asleep. Judging by the smudge of fog against the glass, she was. "They probably already have a tree."

"Ask. Clarice. To go with us. Norah can come, too, so it won't be weird."

John trained his eyes on the road ahead and wondered what kind of twilight zone he had wandered into if his little brother was trying to talk to him about his love life. James used to steer clear of that sort of conversation. Then again, he was eighteen now with his own romance troubles. And he had always liked Clarice. He was probably still having trouble adjusting to the new dynamics, like Riley. You would think after all those years he would've gotten used to it.

James took his silence as reluctance, and he leaned forward, putting a hand on John's seat. "You've gotta ask her."

"I don't have to do anything," John said, reaching back and prying James' hand off the seat.

"Okay, then I'll ask her."

"James. Seriously."

"Fine, but I bet she'd say yes." James leaned back and scooched Riley closer, wrapping his arm around her. "Then you guys can maybe talk instead of doing the whole moony eye thing when you think the other isn't looking. It's annoying."

John glared up into the mirror, but James wasn't looking at him. "There aren't any moon eyes, thank you," he whisper-hissed.

"Yeah, sure," James said, "You should've seen your face when she came down the stairs." Now James turned back toward the mirror, an exaggerated awe-struck look on his face. "You're a mess."

"Wait 'til we get home," John said, pointing at the mirror.

"I am really very scared." James rolled his eyes and carefully lifted Riley's hand, waving it carefully. "Meet my shield."

"That's low."

"I'm into self-preservation these days. Got a lot to live for. Like college."

The rest of the drive was silent, which John was grateful for, though it left him alone with a new dilemma. Ask Clarice or don't ask Clarice. Would she say yes? Did he want her to say yes? Would it be weird if he asked? Damn, this was a lot harder than it used to be. He didn't want things to be awkward between them, but he didn't want to pressure her either.

A few minutes later, he pulled the car into the Fergusons' driveway and put the car in park. He reached over to wake up Clarice, but her head jerked up the moment the truck stopped. "Wha-huh…" She brushed her hair out roughly out of her face with both hands, sitting up straight and nearly getting strangled by the seat belt.

John couldn't help but smile, though he was quick to smother it before she saw. "We're at your house."

"Uh, yeah, see that," Clarice said, closing her eyes for a moment and smudging her face with her palms. "Ugh, how long was I out?"

"Not long."

"Long enough to start snoring," James said, "Got a deviated septum, Clarice?"

"I'm going to deviate your septum with my fist, junior," Clarice grumbled. She always had been such a joy whenever she woke up.

"Such a good example for the kids," James teased.

Clarice gave him a grouchy smile and flipped him off before she unbuckled her seat belt.

In the back seat, he reached over and shook Norah awake, careful not to jostle Riley, who was somehow sleeping through everything. John and Clarice both got out of the truck, and Norah climbed out too, eyes half-lidded with sleep. John picked her up and carried her toward the house, Clarice at his side.

"She's too big to carry," Clarice mumbled, rubbing her eye with the heel of her hand.

"Nah, she's fine," John said, "Sorry about James."

"He's just jealous he doesn't have epic snoring skills," Clarice said.

"Sure, maybe that's it." They walked up to the door, and John's stomach flopped. Okay, decision time. He needed to figure out if he should ask or not, which was crazy, since normally he was a very decisive person. He knew what to do and when to do it.

Clarice destabilized him.

He set Norah down, and the nine-year-old gave him a tired 'thank you' before wandering into the house. Clarice was about to go, time to make up his mind.

"Clarice, wait," he said and then paused, looking from the door to her then back to the truck, where James was undoubtedly watching him.

Clarice turned toward him, her sleepy eyes half-lidded. She looked adorable. "Yeah, big guy?"

"Tree?"

She blinked and scrubbed at her eyes again. "Going to need a little more than that, working on a few hours of sleep and a cat nap here."

"Sorry, just…do you guys have a Christmas tree yet?" he asked, feeling like he was eighteen and tongue-tied again. "We're going tomorrow to get ours, and we could work on lines on the way there, since we got dragged into this play." Good, nice.

Clarice seemed to wake up. "You're going to Petersons?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding a little. The last time they had gone there together, they had been dating. Maybe he shouldn't have asked. "Lorna and Marcos are coming too." Or they would be after he called them. That would make it easier, right, having them around?

Clarice's eyes brightened, and John crushed the slight ache at the idea that she was more excited about seeing their friends than being with him. That wasn't why he was asking anyways. They just… If Karl and Ms. D needed a Christmas tree, then he needed to help Clarice get one.

"I haven't seen them yet," she said, "Sure, I'm game. Want me to bring Norah to keep Riley busy?"

"Yeah, that'd be good. James might bring some friends, I don't know." What was he saying? It was originally just going to be them and their siblings, and now… What was he doing.

"Sounds like a party," Clarice said. She raised an eyebrow an him. "You're not big on parties."

"I'll live," he said, giving her a small smile.

She reached out toward him, her fingers just grazing his arm before she pulled back, shaking her head as if shaking away the need to touch him. "Sure will." She grabbed the door and looked back at him, purple hair sliding over her shoulder, begging to be tucked behind her ear. "What time are you picking us up?"

John laughed. "Oh, I'm chauffeuring?"

"No, you're the Uber," she teased, "Come on, you're the one with the truck."

"I'll be here at 6:30."

"You're killing me, Smalls," she said, invoking the Sandlot quote with a grin. "That's so early."

"I'll blow an airhorn if you're not out here at 6:30," he said, making her groan.

"Fine, Proudstar. See you at the butt crack of dawn."

She headed inside while he went back to the truck, his hands in his pockets. Okay, he needed to call Marcos and get James to ask some of his friends to tag along. It'd be a caravan.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Welcome to a longer chapter! Hope it's okay! ^_^

"You've got a coffee problem."

"No. I don't."

"Do toooooo," Norah said, letting her voice travel up the scale and down as she leaned against the doorway of the kitchen. "Clarice, come on. That's your second cup of coffee, and you're going to get another one. You've got a problem."

"Hush, you'll wake up Mama D and Karl. Besides, I'm prepping. I'm not falling asleep in the truck," she mumbled into the travel mug, both her hands wrapped around it like it was a lifeline. Not again, she wasn't going to nap during the ride up to the tree farm. She shouldn't have fallen asleep last night, but she had been super tired. Even if she had to drink enough coffee to give herself a heart attack, she wasn't going to conk out in John's truck again.

Clarice shuffled over to the coffee pot and dumped the rest of it into the travel mug. It still dark outside the kitchen window. When she had said the butt crack of dawn, she had hoped that, you know, it would actually be dawn. Instead the sun hadn't even started to peek over the horizon yet.

"Damn John's early mornings," Clarice grumbled to herself, rubbing the corner of her eye. Even with all the coffee and extreme determination, she was worried she would be asleep before they got out of Westchester. She wasn't running on much sleep.

When she turned back toward Norah, her little sister pointed at a glass jar on top of the fridge. "I heard that."

Clarice narrowed her eyes at Norah and dipped a hand into her pocketbook. She scrambled around in the abyss that was her bag until she found a quarter. Holding it up to prove that it was, in fact, a quarter, she headed over and went up on her tiptoes to get the swear jar down. She plunked the coin in and set the jar on the counter for easier access. She was home and Remy and some of her other foster siblings might be home within a few days, so it was a good idea to keep the jar in reach.

Lights flashed through the living room windows as someone pulled up to the house, and Norah jumped toward the door. "They're here!"

"Yeah, I see that," Clarice said. She turned off the lights and grabbed her bag and a jacket before following Norah out the front door. John's truck wasn't the only vehicle at the house. There were two more, a small hybrid car and a Jeep Wrangler, both of them idling in the quiet street. Clarice held up a hand against the headlight glare as she and Norah headed over to get into the truck.

"It really is a party," she said as she climbed into the passenger's street, automatically putting her travel mug in the cup holder. There was already a mug there, a dark blue one with a Marines symbol on it.

John gave a half-smile. "You could call it that."

In the backseat, Norah was buckling herself in while Riley jabbered at her, the two of them excited about going to the Christmas tree farm. Riley was already talking about getting a giant tree, which made Clarice wonder how they were going to convince her that an eight foot tree was just as good as a monstrous twenty-footer.

"Are we going or what?" a voice crackled, "I saw Clarice get in, let's go. Damn, you're slow."

Clarice looked down at the handheld radio that was laying on the console, recognizing the cranky voice. Also, she recognized the radio. "Oh my god, these still work?"

"They're well-made," John said as he picked it up. "We're going in just a minute. Seatbelts are important."

Clarice reached over and plucked the radio out of his hand. "That's right, Lorna, don't you care about safety?"

"Hey, wandering traveler," Marcos' voice responded. She could hear Lorna cussing her out in a friendly, warm tone in the background. "How's it going?"

"Fine, just wondering why we're going old school with communication today," she said. She turned the radio over in her hands, running her thumb along a series of scratches in the hard plastic surface. That was from when it had accidentally fallen out the window one summer when they had been going to the lake. Luckily it had only hit the road and gotten scratched instead of falling under the tire. Even though these were hardy, there was no way it could've survived getting run over. John had gotten them for his birthday when they were sophomores back in high school. They were…ancient.

"Because old school works where phone signals don't," John said, taking the radio back from her. He pressed the speaker button. "Is everyone ready?"

"Obviously," Lorna replied.

The other response was a garbled mess of static and arguing. Clarice could pick out James' voice along with a few others, so she guessed it was the Jeep Wrangler crew. Most likely to not know how to work a handheld.

"James," John said, "You there? Or do I have to text you…"

"Here," James finally said, sounding exasperated. "This is dumb, over."

"You don't have to say over," John said as he put the truck into reverse.

"We're using radios, so we're using radio lingo," James said, "Over."

"That's stupid," Lorna put in, "Don't be a brat."

James' tone became lazy. "Are you done talking? You didn't say over so I can't tell. Over."

Clarice smothered a smile at John's longsuffering look as Lorna and James started bickering over the radio. Lorna and Marcos had always liked to tease James mercilessly when they were younger, and it seemed like things hadn't changed. James, for his part, always gave as good as he got.

"John, can we listen to Christmas songs?" Riley asked, "Maybe for part of the way there? Or all the way? We've got lots of hours."

"You would think it was Christmas or something," Clarice said, giving the little girl a grin. Riley beamed back, all bright-eyed and excited. She still had that little-kid love for the holidays, and it was sort of infectious.

John changed the radio station, switching it around until 'Frosty the Snowman' started playing. "Is this okay?"

"Yep, thanks!" Riley said, kicking up feet up onto the console. She had gotten her shoes off already and her little socks had reindeer all over them. Norah's feet joined hers a couple moments later, though she had normal purple socks.

"Five bucks they'll be asleep in thirty minutes," Clarice said.

"That's a bad bet," he replied with a small smile, "You're almost entirely guaranteed to win."

"We won't fall asleep," Riley protested, "We're awake."

"We could drink their coffee," Norah said with a laugh, "Then we'd be super awake."

"Can we have your coffee?" Riley asked, tapping her foot against John's arm. He reached over and squeezed her toes, getting a laugh out of her. She tried to pull her foot back, but he grabbed her foot and kept it in place.

"You don't need coffee, you've got enough energy for all of us," John said, shaking her foot, "You're the last person on this planet who needs coffee."

"But you just said I'd go to sleep!" Riley protested. She leaned forward and pulled at his arm, trying to get him to release her foot. "I need it."

"You need a nap? I wholeheartedly agree."

"I'm so confused," Norah said, "Are we sleeping or not sleeping?"

"Sleeping," John said.

"Not sleeping," Riley said at exactly the same time.

Clarice leaned back in her seat as the girls argued with John and he fought back with a playfully stoic expression, his eyes bright with amusement. He liked teasing his baby sister, and it was easy to see that she loved it too. There was something extra cute, she supposed, about seeing big, tough Marine John playing with his little sister. She had always thought that was sort of adorable how much he cared about his younger siblings and didn't care who knew how much he loved them.

They stopped briefly at a gas station on the outskirts of town to fill up and get snacks for the long ride. Clarice was immediately side-tackled by Lorna the moment she got out of the car and she flailed a little, caught off-guard by Lorna's baby belly.

"Wow, swallow a basketball, buddy?" she asked as she hugged Lorna back. Lorna wasn't terribly affection, but it had been a long time since they had seen each other. A somewhat violent hug was only natural.

Lorna socked her in the shoulder. "A beach ball, you ass," she said with a grin.

It was definitely weird seeing Lorna pregnant. If Clarice had chosen any of her friends to be the literal Mom Friend, it wouldn't have been Lorna, but she knew Lorna would be an awesome mom, complete with ripped jeans and combat boots. "Is Marcos completely smothering you?" Clarice asked, looking over at her childhood BFF. He was busy fending off Riley and Norah, who had gotten out of the truck and wanted to help gas up the vehicles. He gave Clarice an absent wave and went back to trying to keep the kids away from the pump.

"Pretty much," Lorna said, "But he means well."

"Always does," Clarice said. Marcos was a complete teddy bear, but she could see how he might turn into a worry wart when it came to Lorna's pregnancy.

"He hasn't wrapped me up in bubble wrap yet, which I'm thinking is a good sign," Lorna said with a smirk.

"Give it time," Clarice said.

Lorna laughed. "Hey, brats, let's go get candy!" she yelled. Norah and Riley looked at each other and then headed over toward Lorna.

Riley slipped her hand into Lorna's as they headed toward the convenience store. "Can we have coffee?"

"Heck no," Lorna said, "But you can help me find some salt and vinegar chips and peanut butter."

"That's an awful combo," Clarice said, and beside her, Norah wrinkled her nose.

"It's not my weirdest craving," Lorna said, "Have you ever tried those pizza-flavored Combos dipped in tartar sauce? It's amazing."

"That's…beyond disgusting," Clarice said.

In the store, James and his friends were stocking up on candy and snacks like they were going camping for a week in the wilderness instead of a day trip to a tree farm. There were four of them besides James, and Clarice recognized the little blonde that James liked so much.

"Hey!" Ali called to Clarice and Lorna as James held a packet of M&Ms out of her reach, "Morning!"

"Hey, Ali," Clarice said. She had babysat Ali some back when they were much younger; her dad had been overprotective and hadn't let Ali stay home alone until she was at least fourteen.

Riley and Norah disappeared into the shelves, probably looking for something extremely sugary. While the others picked out snacks, Clarice went to the refrigerated section. Absently, she grabbed a couple drinks and then rushed through the snacks section, collecting the girls as she went. Outside, Marcos was pushing the horn on the hybrid, so it was making plaintive little beeps to encourage everyone to hurry. The teens jostled each other as they bought way too much food and then hurried out the door, heading back to the Jeep.

"Riley, Norah, let's go," Clarice called as she headed to the check-out, stepping up behind Lorna. The dark-haired woman had an armful's worth of snacks spread out on the counter. Clarice raised an eyebrow and Lorna frowned at her.

"Don't comment on a pregnant woman's snack choices."

"I wasn't going to," Clarice said, allowing herself a grin. "I didn't say a word."

"You had a _look_."

"What, now I'm not allowed to have a look?"

Lorna jostled her with her elbow. "You know what I mean."

"I'm just saying, you have Ho-Hos and vinegar chips." Clarice reached over to touch the items she had mentioned, which made Lorna brush her hand away.

"It's a surprisingly good combination," Lorna said. She paid for her food and headed outside, two plastic bags hanging from her elbow.

The two girls raced up to the counter, both of them carrying more candy than Clarice was willing to buy. "We're not…is that an entire container of Reeses?"

"It's important," Norah said, "We need protein."

"Then get some jerky," Clarice said, taking the little carton from Norah. She set it on the counter, a little embarrassed by the exasperated look the sales clerk gave her. "Sorry." Neither of the girls looked very apologetic.

The bell over the door dinged as Clarice finished paying for the snacks that she was actually going to buy, and Riley shot over to John as he stepped into the store. "Clarice won't feed us."

"She's not obligated to feed you, squirt," he said as he reached down and ruffled her hair. He looked up at Clarice. "But it looks like she bought you stuff. Unless you're eating all of that on your own?" He smiled at Clarice, and she couldn't help but smile right back. An actual, true smile from John was something of a rarity.

"Yeah, this is all mine," she said, holding the bag close, "You guys can get your own."

Automatically the kids started complaining about how that wasn't fair and how they were going to starve and how it was too early to be mean to them. John laughed and hushed Riley before glancing around the store.

Clarice headed for the door, pausing beside him. "It's okay, I got yours, too. Coke, pork rinds, and sunflower seeds, right?" His tastes couldn't have changed that much, right? "Oh, and a reheated sausage biscuit."

John stared at her, and Clarice shifted from foot to foot, suddenly rethinking her actions. "I can put it back…"

"No, sorry, that's great," he said, shaking his head as if clearing it. "Thank you."

"No problem," Clarice said, wondering if she had made things weird. Luckily, John broke up any awkwardness by grabbing Riley and tossing her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes before taking the plastic bag from Clarice. Marcos was beeping the little hybrid's horn again, and John smirked as they all headed out.

"That is the sorriest excuse for a horn I've ever heard."

"Right?" Clarice said, grinning, "It sounds like its crying every time he hits it."

"I think it's sort of cute," Norah said, "Like it's saying 'eh,' 'eh,' 'eh.'"

"Or meh, meh, meh," Riley said, and both the girls giggled.

Once everyone got back on the road, it was about an hour down the road before the girls fell asleep in the backseat. John turned down the Christmas music as he glanced up at the mirror, making sure they were both out.

"Took longer than expected," Clarice said. She took off her coat and tossed it over Norah before snagging John's coat from behind his seat and draping it over Riley. The seven-year-old snagged the coat and snuggled up to it, halfway hiding under it.

"I'm surprised you're still awake," John said, glancing over at her.

"Eyes on the road," she said, making a face at him. "I drank coffee. I'm prepared."

"Must've been a lot of coffee," John teased.

She reached over and gently socked him on the shoulder. "It's none of your business."

John smiled and turned his attention back to the road. Behind them, the teenagers were following along in the Jeep and right behind them was Lorna and Marcos' hybrid. They were a little troupe heading down the road, enjoying the crisp morning now that the sun was officially out. However, some clouds in the distance made it look like the sunshine might not last.

"Is it supposed to snow today?" Clarice asked, briefly pressing her nose against the window. Fog clouded the window and she rubbed it away with her sleeve, pulling the end up over the palm of her hand.

"There's a chance," John said, "But it could happen."

"That'd be nice and cliché," she said, "Cutting down Christmas trees in the snow."

"Hey, I like this particular cliché," John said with a small smile, "Don't insult it."

"I didn't say I didn't like it," she replied. She reached for her bag and fished around for her phone, eventually finding it. After taking a short vid of the sky and blasting it out on Instagram, she set the phone on the dash.

The two of them settled into a comfortable silence, and Clarice reached over to turn the channel. While she loved Christmas music, it was tiresome after a while. Besides, the kids were asleep. She flipped through a few channels and finally found a rock station, one that John would like and she wouldn't mind. Outside, the woods were flashing by, bare-limbed tree after tree, as they made their way to the Christmas tree farm.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but hopefully jump-starting longer chapters! I was sad because the original start to this chapter was accidentally deleted...

The Christmas tree farm was massive, sprawling out over several hillsides. The driveway leading up to the farm was lined by trees decorated for the season. When they pulled into the parking lot, it was already halfway full, and more vehicles were arriving behind them. It seemed like it was going to be a busy Saturday.

“That’s a freaking huge snowman.” Clarice was looking at the twenty five foot tall blow up snowman that had the name of the farm proudly displayed on its stomach. It had been impossible to miss the place thanks to the monstrous snowman.

John thought its expression was a little menacing and it looked like it might knock someone out with its gigantic broom. “That’s an understatement.”

Clarice shook her head. “We could park the Jeep in there.”

Riley stepped closer to John and put her hand in his. “I don’t like it. It’s looking at us.”

Apparently he wasn’t the only one who found it less than welcoming.

“It’s just a big Frosty,” Clarice said with a smile, “A really big, sort of grumpy Frosty.”

John noticed James sneaking up behind them but not soon enough to stop him from grabbing Riley and jostling her, getting a shriek of surprise.

“It’s going to eat you!” James yelled, lifting the seven-year-old into the air. “It’s the kind of snowman that turns little kids into frosties. The Wendy’s variety.” He acted like he was going to chomp down on Riley’s head.

Riley wriggled around and strained to get away from James as he set her back on the ground. “Stop it! John!”

“James…”

“It’s okay, Riley, he’s mean,” Ali announced as she walked toward them. The blond-haired girl made a face at James and reached out to pry his hands off of Riley’s shoulders. John noticed his brother was quick to lose interest in antagonizing Riley as Ali pulled her away. “Want to go look at the horses? I saw some when we drove up… Norah, you too! Is that okay?” She looked at Clarice and John for permission to steal the kids away.

“Fine by me,” Clarice said with a shrug.

“Listen to Ali,” John said, pinning Riley with a firm look.

She quickly nodded and grabbed Norah’s hand before taking off toward the nearby fence line, where a few horses were lingering, most likely in hopes of an apple or carrot from a visitor. Ali trailed after them, followed by James and the other two guys that had come with them. John was pretty sure it was Bobby Drake and that kid from the play, Romeo.

With the kids occupied, it was easier to check in at the front office and get the equipment and instructions they needed. John had been to the farm before, but they usually updated their safety debrief every year thanks to people doing reckless stuff every year. Everyone had to sign the safety waiver and John had to sit there and do extra paperwork to use one of the axes. Marcos and Lorna had stayed for a while until they got bored and headed back outside, but Clarice stuck with him.

“So you’re signing a contract saying you won’t go all horror flick on everyone with the axe, right?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t read the fine print,” John said in a deadpan. He glanced up at her and saw her grinning at him. His face warmed and he smirked back at her before finishing the papers.

“They wouldn’t have to worry about you, anyways. You’re a Boy Scout.”

“Former Boy Scout,” John replied without looking up from the paper this time. His eyes did flick to her hand though as it traveled into his field of vision, a pen held in her slender fingers. She had plum-colored fingernail polish on, except for her ring finger, which had designs against the plum backdrop.

Before he could stop her, she had drawn the sketchy outline of a Christmas tree on the edge of his paper. As he watched, she added fangs and evil slanting eyebrow to the otherwise innocuous drawing.

“Very Nightmare Before Christmas,” he said wryly, hoping the farm would still take the defaced contract.

“That’s my favorite Christmas movie,” Clarice said, adding a very sharp star to the top of the tree.

“I know.” John said it absently, but he could tell by the way she shifted in her chair that it meant something to her. His eyebrows lifted as he turned his attention from the paper to her. “What?”

“Nothing.” Clarice shrugged. “I just forget how detail-oriented you are.”

“I don’t know how I’d forget about Nightmare Before Christmas, you only made us all watch it a thousand times.”

Her hand darted out and playfully smacked his shoulder. “It was only nine hundred and thirty two times, thank you, Captain Exaggeration.”

“Oh, that’s all, I’m sorry. Forgive me.”

Finished with the paper, he got up and took it back over to the woman at the registration desk. After a safety debrief and a free cup of hot chocolate, he and Clarice finally escaped the front office with a axe in tow.

“What’d you have to do, sign away your firstborn?” Lorna asked. She and Marcos were sitting at one of the picnic tables, Marcos perched on top of it while Lorna said on the bench, leaning back against his legs. The kids and teenagers weren’t immediately in sight, and John started looking around, trying to find the group. If there were people wandering around with

“They went to go look at the snowman,” Marcos said. He waved a hand in the direction of the monster-sized snowman. “I’m not sure the girls actually wanted to go, but they didn’t want to stay behind either.”

“I thought they were looking at the horses?” John looked over at the snowman that was looming over the tree farm, visible from almost any point of the entrance.

Marcos shrugged. “Guess they moved on.”

“That thing is creepy as hell,” Lorna mumbled, also glancing over at the snowman.

“Isn’t there a horror movie about a snowman?” Clarice asked. She walked over and sat down on the top of the picnic table, right next to Marcos.

Marcos nodded. “I think there are a few. Lorna would know better. Right, babe.” He gently nudged his wife with his leg, getting a half-hearted snarl out of her.

“Probably? There are some evil ones in that Krampus movie,” she said with a shrug. Normally she was the group’s go-to expert on horror movies. She was up-to-date with most of them, and she had her own list of favorites that she had on DVD just so she could foist them off on people to watch.

John glanced out at the entrance to the hillsides full of Christmas tree. He knew that they were going to have a full day ahead of them, trekking around to find the perfect tree. Marcos would be a getting a small one, since he and Lorna balanced Christmas and Hanukah at their house, with Marcos celebrating Christmas while Lorna celebrated Hanukah. Would their kid get both? Maybe he would ask about it later.

“We should probably get going,” John said.

“I can get the kids,” Lorna said with a smirk. Before John could say no, she cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled over the happy Christmas music playing over speakers from the little nearby snack shack. “James! Alison! Small children! Others! We’re leaving you!” She lowered her hands, her expression extremely self-satisfied.

John ignored the looks they received from the people around them. “Nice. Not too loud at all.”

Lorna shrugged. “Did the job.” She waved a hand in the direction of the snowman, showing off the fact that Riley and Norah were hurrying back toward them, both of them looking mildly frantic at the idea of being left behind. Behind them, James, Ali, Romeo, and Bobby trailed along.

Riley raced up to John’s side. “James says the snowman is possessed and was going to eat us, so I told him it wouldn’t because snowman can’t get possessed. Right?”

“Right, because ghosts aren’t real, Riles.”

“I said that too!”

“The snowman’s not possessed by anything,” John said, casting a look at James that said his little brother needed to lay off. Otherwise Riley was going to be having nightmares for a week.

“Well, I know what scares off snowmen, possessed or otherwise,” Clarice broke in. Norah was hovering at her side, a concerned expression on her face. “Hot chocolate. It’s a proven fact, since you can use to melt snowmen and it embodies all things good in the world.”

“That’s saying a lot about hot chocolate,” Lorna said.

“Hot chocolate for everyone, then off to the trees,” Clarice declared, sounding like she was delivering orders. Grabbing Norah by the hand, she marched off toward the snack shack, taking Riley by the hand as she walked past.


	10. Chapter 10

“Can I use the axe?”

John responded to James’ question with an incredulous laugh, not even bothering to turn around to ask him if he had lost his mind. Maybe if they were off on their own and James wasn’t surrounded by his friends, John would consider letting him use the axe. But this seemed like a prime moment for James to show off, and there was also the waiver that John had signed that said no one in his party besides him would use the axe.

The group was making their way through the rows of Christmas trees, meandering through the smaller trees as they headed for the larger ones on the next hill. There were families and couples and groups scattered throughout the farm, and arguments and laughter popped up from random places. They were getting far enough from the entrance that there were less people now. Overhead, the flat grey clouds threatened to open up into a steady snow shower at any time.

“What about me?” Riley asked, tugging on John’s free hand. She looked up at him with a winning smile. “I’m more responsible.”

“You’d tip over if I let you hold it,” he said, squeezing her hand.

She grinned. “No way, I’m strong.”

“Right. Just a reminder, you can hardly open a water bottle for yourself,” James said, earning him a frown from Riley.

“What would you even do with the axe, James?” Romeo asked. A dark-haired young man, he was walking between Bobby and James, bundled up in a puffy black coat.

“I doubt he’d actually cut down a tree,” Ali said.

Bobby grinned mischievously. “There’s so much we could do. Limitless potential.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Ali said, “The last time you said something had limitless potential, three windows got broken at school and the fire department showed up.”

“It was fun, you gotta admit,” James said.

Bobby nodded. “Definitely worth a couple days of suspension.” 

“And that’s exactly why John’s the only one who gets to use the axe,” Marcos announced, his tone firm and final.

“If John’s the only one who gets to hold the axe, I think he should have to do something extra,” Clarice said. She and Norah were walking toward the front of the group, looking for the perfect Christmas tree for their foster parents’ house. Part of John wished Clarice would hang back toward him so they could talk more. They still had a lot of catching up to do.

“Ah,” John said, “And what would that be, exactly?”

“I don’t know yet,” Clarice said before turning around to address the others. “Any suggestions?”

“I don’t think this should be up for a group discussion,” John said, or at least tried to. It was hard to be heard over the ideas that seemed to explode from everyone.

“He should sing a song every time he swings it, maybe?” Norah said tentatively.

“He has to be shirtless!”

“He has to cut down the tree blindfolded.”

“He has to cut the tree down in five strokes or someone else takes over. I nominate me.”

“No, no, I think I’ve got this,” Lorna said, holding up her hands. “Before he cuts down the tree, he has to go, ‘Heeere’s Johnny!’”

“And make a psychotic face,” Marcos added.

“I don’t get it,” Riley said as half of the group started laughing.

“You’re too young for that movie,” John said. He rolled his eyes. He didn’t even like The Shining all that much. Horror movies weren’t his favorites (he preferred action movies and sci-fi), but they had watched a bunch of them back in high school. Clarice always had been a movie connoisseur, and she had liked holding impromptu movie nights at her house where everyone stayed up until four in the morning and slept over until the afternoon. “Here’s an idea. I should get to hold the axe based on the fact I signed for it, and I’m the one who will get in trouble if anything goes wrong.”

“Scared of a lawsuit?” Clarice teased.

“More like scared James will chop his own leg off,” Marcos said.

Lorna snorted. “Or someone else’s leg.”

“Why does everyone think I can’t work an axe?” James demanded, “It’s not like it’s hard.”

“All right, all right,” John said, shaking his head, “Let’s all just focus on finding these Christmas trees.”

“Yes, sir!” Bobby said, snapping a salute at John. He grabbed Romeo and James by the arms and yanked them toward the left. “To the trees!”

Alison followed after them, and John wondered if they would all get lost out there or cause him to lose the damage deposit he had put down when he signed for the axe. There wasn’t that much for them to destroy on the Christmas tree farm…right? Who was he kidding, they would find something. James had a skill for that sort of thing, and Bobby had always been good at dragging his brother into chaotic situations where things got shattered. At least a couple of James’ previous bone breaks were the result of Bobby Drake’s schemes.

The remaining group wandered through the trees, looking for some choices that weren’t enormous. Still, the allure of looking at the biggest trees became too much, and they found themselves in the rows of trees that furnished houses that had fifty foot high vaulted ceilings.

“There’s no way this one fits in a house,” Lorna said, craning her head back to look up at a twenty-footer.

“You could cut a branch off this thing and it could be a whole tree,” Clarice said.

The top of the tree seemed to brush the snow-laden sky. It was hard to imagine it in an actual house. Riley and Norah were playing in the massive fluffy branches, disappearing halfway into the needles before coming back out again.

“Can we get this one?” Riley said, partially buried in the tree. “It’s so big!”

“How about we get one that isn’t almost as big as the house,” John said, “I think Aunt Evelyn might like that better.”

“Aww…fine…” Riley reluctantly stepped out of the tree and wandered over to Marcos, grabbing both of his hands. “Marcos, can you get this tree?”

Marcos snorted and scooped her up. “Sure. I’ll get this, and that pony you asked me for, and a diamond necklace, and those long-haired guinea pigs, and I’ll set aside a college fund for medical school.”

“Really?”

“No way,” Marcos said, laughing as she frowned at him. “But I think we can let you help pick out our much smaller tree, okay?”

“Did you already put out your memnorah?” Riley asked.

“Hanukkah’s already over,” Lorna said with a small smile, “And it’s a menorah.”

“Oh, right,” Riley said. “I forgot.” She looped her arms around Marcos’ neck. “How big is your tree going to be?”

“Only about five feet,” Marcos said, “So we’ll get ours from up at the front.”

“Charlie Brown tree, huh?” Clarice said.

“A little bigger than that, but not too much,” Marcos said, “We’re saving all our money so we only go broke for a few years once the baby’s here.”

John followed along behind the others as the discussion turned to the baby and renovations at Lorna and Marcos’ house. Lorna dropped back and walked alongside him.

“I want to name the baby Kickass Danger Dane-Diaz, but Marcos keeps saying no,” Lorna said, smirking.

“You’re giving birth, so I feel like you get final say,” John replied.

“That’s what I said. We could call her Kadie.”

John laughed. “So it really is a girl.”

“Did you think I was lying?” she said, lifting an eyebrow at him. During the last video chat he had had with Marcos and Lorna, they had told him the baby was a girl. But then Lorna had said she was having an alien parasite and the conversation had devolved from there into an argument about the Alien movies and which one was the worst. Everyone had very different opinions.

“What do you really want to name her?” John asked.

“I don’t know yet,” she said, “We’ve thrown around some names. Like John Jr.”

“That’s a really solid name, it gets my vote,” John said.

“I thought you’d like that one.”


	11. Chapter 11

About an hour later, all three Christmas trees had been cut down, wrapped up, and packed into the back of John's truck. Nothing had been broken, no one had been cut in half, no blood had been spilled, and John hadn't lost his safety deposit, so Clarice was going to chalk it up as a nice and undramatic success.

To finish it all off, the front office was passing out rounds of free hot chocolate and a folk band had started playing at the front entrance. People were going off on horse-drawn wagon rides through the Christmas tree farm while others were dancing on the hard-packed earth near the front office's porch, where the band was playing. Norah and Riley were dancing around together, twirling and pretending to squaredance with a few other kids. It was nice to see her normally reserved little sister having a good time.

Clarice took a sip on her hot chocolate and sucked in a breath of cold air through her teeth. This was nice. The past year had been filled with online grad school classes and traveling, and it was relaxing to just take a break and exist without documenting everything. For the first time since she had started her blog, she was taking a break, though she was still keeping up with the Instagram side of it.

Whipping out her phone, she opened Instagram and started a video. "Still not snowing!" she complained, turning the phone around and showing off the snowless sky. John appeared on camera for a moment then blinked and moved away. Clarice laughed. "Camera shy?"

"I didn't want to get in your way," he said, ducking his head.

"You're fine," she said and then pursed her lips. Well…he was _fine_. The Marines had definitely had a positive effect on his already impressive muscles. Distracted, she uploaded the video and stashed her phone back in her coat pocket.

Riley darted away from Norah and pounced on James, who happened to be sitting on the steps of the front office with his friends. She wrapped her arms around his knees, her dark eyes shining. "Dance with me!"

"Go ask John," James said, ruffling her hair and then gently pushing her forehead back. "I don't dance."

"Please…" She grabbed his jacket sleeve and tugged on his arm. "Just for a minute?"

James rolled his eyes. "You're such a brat." But he grinned and stood up swiftly, taking her by both hands and swinging her back out to the dance floor. For all his teasing, he really did love that kid. Whether she knew it or not, Riley had both Proudstar men wrapped around her pinky.

"He's a good brother," Clarice said, sipping at her hot chocolate.

John smiled and nodded, obviously proud of James. "He's all right. Guess we'll keep him."

Clarice smirked. The mere idea of John abandoning James was hilarious. He couldn't abandon anyone or anything, Once, when they had been in middle school, their class had adopted a guinea pig but John had been the one to take it home and keep it until it died of old age.

"What was that guinea pig's name?" she asked, rolling her gaze toward Marcos.

"What?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I'm supposed to be the one with pregnancy brain," Lorna said, "What're you talking about?"

"No, I just—that guinea pig from 7th grade."

"Scooter," John supplied, not looking away from his siblings.

"No, it was Lord Scooter McDuffinShorts," Marcos added, "But you hated his full name so it became just Scooter."

"Scooter was a girl," John said, "And anyone would hate that name."

"I voted for it," Marcos protested, "And so did Clarice."

"How the hell do you even remember that?" Clarice asked, turning to stare at Marcos.

He shrugged. "7th grade was a blur, but I remember arguing about that at the lunch table. I think I traded you some Dunkaroos and you voted for it."

Clarice laughed. "Oh. Yeah, that was a good trade."

"I remember the guinea pig now," Lorna said, "Or I remember it being at John's house. Didn't it freak out any time you gave it carrots?"

"She loved carrots," John said. He drained the rest of his hot chocolate and sat down next to Clarice, which instantly made her feel warmer. He blocked the wind and his thigh brushed against hers, and when he shot her a small smile, her cheeks grew hot. "You always brought her extras."

"Yeah, well, she made cute noises," Clarice said.

"Mm."

Something small and white swirled in front of her face, and she looked up. Snowflakes were beginning to drift down, finally breaking through the clouds.

"And that's our cue," Marcos said, shoving his hands against the top of the picnic table and standing up. "The car won't make it through snow."

John nodded. "Riley, James, time to go."

"Norah, come get your gloves," Clarice said, standing up as well. She held out the gloves as Norah left the makeshift dance floor and hurried over to her.

"Are we leaving?" she asked.

"Yeah, we need to go before it gets too snowy," Clarice said, pulling Norah's hat out of her pocket. She plopped it down on Norah's head. "Otherwise Marcos and Lorna will get stranded."

"And Marcos getting stranded is bad why?" James said as he walked up to them, Riley captured under one of his arms. The rest of the teenagers peeled away from the stairs and wandered over as well, tossing their cups into the trash on the way.

"Because I'd take your place in the Jeep and you could keep Marcos company," Lorna said, crossing her arms. "And we all know that'd end well."

"Can you have a Hunger Games with only two people?" Bobby asked, grinning, "And who gets to be Katniss?"

"That escalated quickly," Alison said, "And James is more of the Gale type. Marcos would be Peeta."

"Hey, now," Marcos said, shooting her a frown.

James set Riley down on the bench of the picket table and absently pulled her hat further down over her ears. She stretched out a hand, trying to catch a snowflake, and then jumped onto John's back, looping her arms around his neck.

Unfazed, he adjusted so he was supporting her legs. "Everyone ready?"

After a half-hearted chorus of yeah's, they headed off for the parking lot. Other people were starting to leave as well, hoping to get ahead of the snow. Clarice pulled out her phone and looked up the weather while they walked. What had been predicted to be a small snow shower had become more serious since they had left Westchester. It looked as if it was going to snow harder and longer than the weather people had first thought.

"Hey, look at this," she said, holding the phone out to John. Riley took the phone and held it down so John could see the screen.

"That's not great," he mumbled.

Riley pulled the phone up and studied the screen. "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing," Clarice said, reaching for the phone.

Riley relinquished it with a frown. She gently knocked her gloved knuckles against John's shoulder. "Why isn't it great?"

"It's just going to be more snow than we thought," John said, "Don't worry about it."

It said something about Riley's trust in John that her frown melted almost immediately. Apparently if John said it would be okay, it would be.

Clarice just hoped he was right.


End file.
